My name is Kasey. I am 37 years old. I was born August 20, 1981. My mom and dad had been married for 12 years. It was a very unhealthy relationship and two years after I was born they divorced. My dad was always working or out of town and it quickly got to where I didn’t see him much at all. Years later my mom remarried. My brother soon came along. The dream of becoming a happy family soon shattered. I started drinking alcohol, smoking pot, tripping acid at the age of 13. What no one could understand is why. How could a girl that was always smiling always seemed to be happy, a girl who was a cheerleader and in dance competitions, go so far down? I couldn’t hold it in any longer, so I let it out…. My stepdad had been molesting me. I carried a lot of shame and guilt and no longer cared about myself. My self-worth was gone. I ruined the happy family or that’s the lie I told myself. I tried heroin at the age of 14. From that moment on I was hooked. It didn’t take long before I was an IV drug user at the age of 16. I started skipping school and hanging out with all the wrong crowds, committing crimes, dating older guys who sold drugs just so I could have it. On January 27th 1998 my life changed forever. I went out with a guy and his friend. We drank, we got high and I had sex with my friend. After an argument broke out I asked them to take me home. After arriving at my house, I got ready for bed and laid down. I dozed off but quickly woke up to a guy climbing through my window. I recognized him immediately. His name was Billy Joel Tracy, the guy who was with my friend earlier that night. I begged him to leave but his answer remained the same. He was not leaving, that he was there to have sex with me and was not leaving until it happened. I told him that he would have to kill me before I allowed that. So, that night I fought for my life. He started punching me, breaking the bone under my left eye, knocking out my teeth and throwing me into walls. At one point I tried to run but he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back so hard my feet came off the ground. He was able to get me on my bed, where he strangled me and continued to beat me until I was unconscious.
The truth is I will never know what all was done to me in that bedroom. I came to and realized I was moving. I couldn’t see anything, but I knew I was in the car the floorboard to be exact. At one point I asked Billy why did you do this to me? The look that followed that statement is one that haunted me for years. He grabbed the side of my head and started slamming my face into that dash/ glove box. Once again, I was knocked out. I felt a cold breeze and woke up to him getting out of the car. He yelled at me don’t move, the passenger door opened, he grabbed the back of my head and the back of my bloody, torn shirt and yanked me from the car. I fell to the dirt. He grabbed my ankles and pulled me into the woods. He continued to hit me and to finish what he had started. He burned my feet to see if I was still alive. He was burying me alive when a Rockwall police officer by the name of Paul Britt arrived to check out an abandoned car. Officer Britt ran into the woods after seeing the car covered in blood. Billy hit the cop and took off on an 11-hour manhunt in Rockwall, Texas.
I was taken to Lake Point Hospital, where I would wait for my mom to come identify me. I was unrecognizable, she identified me by a tattoo on my right ankle. I was sent to Parkland Hospital where I would undergo first of several surgeries. Many months later I went to trial and faced the person who tried to kill me. He was shackled and chained to the ground, 75,000 volts of electricity around his waist. He was given 2 life sentences and sent to TDC. Even though I was safe from him, I was tormented with nightmares. Everywhere I went I saw his face. I wanted to escape so I started using heroin again. I was in unhealthy or abusive relationships one after another. I got married and had two beautiful girls. My life at times would seem so great and then fear would set in. I was holding on to all the guilt from my past which drove me back to being an IV drug user and committing crime and away from my children. I fell into a pattern of overdosing, waking up in hospitals and getting arrested. It became normal to me. I got pregnant with my third daughter and thought okay this time it will be different, but for some reason I couldn’t let go of the pain. I blamed my mom daily. It was not long until that relationship suffered. I blamed my dad for not being there to save me, but most of all I blamed myself.
I listened to the lies that my children were better off with out me in their life. I had zero self-worth, no hope and no dreams. I didn’t care if I lived or died. After overdosing more than 15 times, I cried out to God. This had been the only thing I didn’t try. I begged him to take this addiction from me. I am proud to say I have been clean since March 30, 2016. I was clean, but I still thought so little of myself that I continued to be in relationships that were abusive and controlling. Just shy of year after being sober, I was booked into jail for aggravated robbery. I thought, “wow Kasey, you have done it this time for sure.” In April, I was called down to talk to someone from the District Attorneys office along with a detective from Bowie County. Billy Joel Tracey (the guy who tried to kill me) had killed a guard in TDC. They were there to ask me if I would be willing to testify. My Judge, Jennifer Bennett, thought it would be a good idea if I spoke to Pastor Sam from Restored Hope Ministries about the program that he offered. In May, Pastor Sam came to visit me in jail and told me all about the program. I spent almost 2 days praying and asking for direction and answers. The next morning, I agreed to go to RHM and was released that same day. I spent time in classes learning about the love that God had and continues to have for me. I learned about my identity, which is in Christ. I worked with a counselor who walked me thru deliverance and all the struggles of my past, so that I could get to the root of my pain. I worked on myself and restoring the relationship with my family.
In November 2017, Pastor Sam and Pastor Sherry, my mom and myself went to Bowie County to attend the trial of Billy Joel Tracey. It was in that moment that it was clear to me that God started opening doors that I thought were shut for good. My dad met us there. My mom and dad were able to be in the same room and talked thru some things that they both have been carrying around for years. They have remained friends to this day. My mom got a text from my oldest daughter whom we had not talked to in years. The trail started. I got to see Paul Britt and the other families that were affected by this tragedy. Then it was my turn to walk in the court room to face Billy Joel Tracey. Pastor Sherry loved on me and prayed me thru it. I did it. All the fear that I once had was gone. He had no power over me. I finally let go of all the shame, of all the guilt, of all the pain and forgave him for what he had done to me.
While at RHM, I was able to get my drivers license after 10 years of it being suspended. All my medical, dental, vision, food, clothes and shelter were provided. I enrolled into Grand Canyon University online to obtain my Criminal Justice degree to become a Victim’s Advocate. I want to fight for those who have been victimized. RHM, helped me get a job at a company that charters private planes called Jet-Ten.Com. I am the office manager and work in the accounting department. I have a wonderful relationship with my three girls. My family has been restored. I have hope and look forward to my future. I want to say thank you to everyone who is a part of RHM. Please know you all had a part in helping me become the woman of God that I am today. I love you. God bless you!